Brain Dump

Happy Wednesday/Day Before Thanksgiving!

I literally just spent about 45 minutes trying to write a post about yellow garden stools that ended up with me talking about dead gold-wielding leprechauns and jade elephants from the Ming dynasty.

Writer’s block anyone?

I asked others for inspiration, but all I got was a text from my sister that says “Write about meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!”

So, in an effort to keep everyone from thinking I’ve completely gone off the deep end, I’m forgoing that post in favor of a list of probaby-not-interesting-to-anyone-but-my-mom tidbits.  Enjoy!

1.) Yes, I’ve decided I need a yellow garden stool in my life.

I’ve got the perfect nook for you, Mr. Stool.

What I didn’t know is how expensive they are! My $40 limit won’t get me anywhere.

2.) I want to make monkey bread for Thanksgiving, but all the recipes call for it to be made in a bundt pan. Can I still make it if I’m bundt-less? Can anybody help me with this?

3.) I’m also making pumpkin bread for Thanksgiving, mainly because my recipe makes two loaves and I want to keep one at home to eat all by myself. #fatkid

4.) New Girl last night was hysterical. It’s usually pretty funny, but last night was the first time I literally LOL’d throughout the episode. It takes a lot for me to do that during a TV show, so well-played writers.

5.) Free lunches at work make me happy. A new natural food restaurant/deli just opened up in my building and they offered free lunches to everyone during their staff training. They’re called Pret a Manger (pronounced Pret ahhh Mon-jay. I didn’t know this. I was calling it as it looked- Pret a Manger , like what Baby Jesus was in. The French language is tricky.)

To give you an idea of what they serve, I got this in my “lunch bag.”

Yoga Bunny Detox Grape Juice

I’m not a huge carbonated beverage drinker, especially trendy, boutique, “healthy” drinks, but it was pretty good. I wouldn’t buy it, but I’d certainly drink it again for free.

6.) I bought my gift for our annual Girl’s Brunch/Yankee Swap and promptly decided I want to keep it for myself. Can I do that?

7.) Yes, Key West was awesome. And I didn’t actually lose my phone. (That’s another post.)

On that note, I’m signing off for the day. My office closes at 1, then I have grand plans for the gym, grocery store, and baking before heading to CT early tomorrow morning.

Happy Thanksgiving all! 🙂

Woe is Me (Kind Of)

I was all set on Monday night to write a post about all my woes for the week. (Yes. A week of woes on Monday. That wasn’t a typo.)

It was going to be called The Week of Woe: Chapter One

However, I got sidetracked (by sidetracked, I mean, Dancing with the Stars came on) and the post didn’t get written. And while I’m still going to list my woes, they aren’t so bad anymore so this post might be kind of moot.

So, here we are.

Woe 1) Our fridge died over the weekend and my cream spoiled, meaning I couldn’t have my coffee until I got to work. This, my friends, is a catastrophe. I do not do well without my coffee on the T.

Woe 2) My back has been nagging me for over a week. While a big part of it was due to our mattress, turns out I also have an infection that was working its way towards my kidneys. (Hence the low back pain.) Do not be alarmed– I’m on antibiotics now and feeling much better.

Woe 3) I was convinced our house was getting cased when I saw a random guy walk up and then back down our driveway while I was at the bus stop to go to work. I basically glared at him from across the street until I got on the bus, and then worried the rest of the day. Turns out, he’s just a construction worker for the house next door. I’ve seen him every morning since then. It’s a little awkward.

Woe 4) I gambled with a parking meter and lost. I seriously was in Dunkin Donuts for 5 minutes.

Woe 5) I gambled again a few days later, and lost again. I know, I should have learned my lesson, but I really wanted to go another mile at the gym. While I did finish my 6.5 mile run, what I should have done was run to the meter to add another quarter.

Point taken, Newton meter maids. You don’t mess around.

Woe 6) Nor’easter. Today into tomorrow. ‘Nuf said.

Now that I’ve complained and bored you all to death, let me leave you with a few things that are making me happy today:

Sparkly nails!

This was my first time trying those Sally Hansen salon effects, and I gotta say– love them! So easy, especially considering I can’t give myself a manicure to save my life. Best CVS impulse buy I’ve had in a while.

My new Lulu bag!

I finally have a bag that fits all my work stuff and gym stuff. No more lugging two giant bags to work everyday. And it’s red! A big thanks to Brita for helping me out. 🙂

Hunter rain boots.

For said Nor’easter. At least my feet will be warm and dry, and I can walk through as many puddles as I want. (Does anybody else seek out puddles when they have on rain boots?)

On that note, I’m signing off. I leave for Key West tomorrow (Oh….did I forget to mention that? ;)) so you won’t be hearing from me for a bit. Hooray for destination weddings!

Be back Tuesday night!

 

 

 

 

 

Sore Core

I am so sore this morning.

Yesterday was a lifting day. While I originally went in with the intention of just doing a basic circuit, I ended up swinging the good ‘ol kettlebell around.

The good news is, I can still swing the same weight bell as when I was taking KB classes.

The bad news is– owwwwww! I seriously need to get back on a regular lifting routine.

I make no bones about the fact that strength training isn’t my favorite thing in the world. I’d one billion times rather run a 10k than lift for 20 or 30 minutes.

One billion, you guys.

But, I also know it’s good for me, and being the good citizen that I am, I do my part two or three times a week. However, my strength routine is sporadic, unorganized, and, well, kind of half-assed if I’m being honest.

It’s time to step it up.

Yesterday’s Workout:

10 minute warm up on the stationary bike

Circuit:

15  swings: 24 kg kettlebell

Full Pushups (I maxed out at 7. I used to be able to do 12.)

Cleans: 16kg Kettlebell, 8x per arm

Kneeling overhead press: 15 lb dumbbells

Repeat 4x

Afterwards, I did some light ab work and tons of stretching. My IT band has been really tight lately, so I’ve been trying to be extra vigilant about stretching that baby out.

And by “light” ab work, I mean really light. And my abs are sore this morning.

Sigh.

In happier news, I had my Eating Club friends over for dinner last night. I had suggested a Mexican-themed dinner because, as I said in my email to them, I wanted to make pizza.

I’ll let that one sink in.

My friends brought sangria and taco salad. And despite my cultural faux pas, my caramelized onion, pear, and gorganzola cheese pizza was very tasty.

For dessert, we had Zaftig’s cupcakes.

Hoooooooooh Zaftig’s. So good. I snapped this picture after we’d pretty much decimated those puppies.

Chocolate, Red Velvet, and Boston Cream

 

Maura and Kristen wanted to say hi.

Kristen was mad we were out of sangria

Emily really wanted her picture taken, but the damn pillow kept hogging the camera.

Stupid Pillow

It was a good night, earthquake and all. (Nope, didn’t feel it.)

Happy Wednesday!

PS- It might be time I stop using my phone’s camera. My shots are getting worse and worse.

Note To Self

When all you’re craving is this:

Do not eat this:

 

I’ve learned my lesson.

I’ve also agreed to a weight loss competition with an identity-should-remain-a-secret person. It starts next week.

So, Monday, I eat this:

Today, I eat this:

PS- Somebody finally discovered paint! Somebody also doesn’t know how to make the text look bigger, so hooray for you guys– you get to look at giant pictures of my food!

A Donut Poem

Last night I was so excited
I could hardly sleep
Nothing could get me to drift off
Not even counting sheep

Instead I stayed up thinking
About my game plan for today
I mapped out every morsel
Before I finally hit the hay

What exactly am I planning?
I’m so happy that you ask
For I drifted off with a smile on my face
My excitement I can’t mask

You see, to me today
Is the best day of the year
Some might think this obsession is weird
But I don’t really care

It’s better than Christmas morning
Much better than any gift
And if I ever missed this event
I’d be really miffed

My friends, it’s National Donut Day
No, I’m not being clever
You really get to eat as many donuts as you want
With no guilt what-so-ever

No matter what you’re preference
Boston Cream or Blueberry Cake
You can stuff your gob until you burst
Of every kind they make

So, get yourself to a donut shop
And eat until you blow up like a balloon
Because you won’t be able to do it again
Until the first Friday of next June!

I hope you enjoyed this little ditty
About my favorite breakfast treat
Because in all their doughy goodness
They’re really hard to beat

Happy National Donut Day!

21 Things You Only Learn By Living Alone

I wrote my last rent check for my place last week.

Signed, stamped, and in the mail.

Can somebody please tell me what the f*ck I was doing the past 10 months? Because I could swear I was just moving in yesterday.

Although the past year has positively flown by, there have been a few life lessons that I’ve learned during my year of solitary living. Some important, some funny, and some just downright embarassing. But all worthy of noting.

1.) You will get bored. Sometimes you’ll get so bored, you decide you should take up meditation as an in-home hobby. You soon realize this is just as boring, just in a much more uncomfortable position.

2.) Consider yourself lucky if you have a pet to talk to. Because if you don’t, it’s just you and mirror. And don’t think you won’t go there. You will.

3.) It is possible to eat an entire bag of chocolate chips during one episode of Grey’s Anatomy. Even if you only meant to eat one. Or two.

4.) There is no need to cook an entire batch of tacos on a random Wednesday night. Nobody is going to “pop in” for dinner. And taco meat gets really old after eating it for four days straight.

5.) Walking around naked isn’t nearly as fun as television makes you think. I tried it once and got embarrassed.

6.) You can eat ice cream any time you want. Nobody will know. Nobody. Well, except your doctor when your yearly physical reveals you’ve gained 10 pounds.

7.) You’ll get really good at practicing your facial expressions in your bathroom mirror. I’ve got “surprised” and “concerned” down pat.

8.) Sometimes you’ll lie and say you went to the gym, when really all you did all day was sit in your 10 year old sweatpants eating saltines and switching back and forth between Mrs. Eastwood and Company and Bethenney Ever After.

9.) You will get lonely. Sometimes you’ll call a friend for a drink. Sometimes you’ll pick up the phone and have an hour long conversation with your mom. And sometimes you’ll just indulge yourself in a self-induced pity party. (Tears optional.)

10.) If you’re a girl, you’ll still change your sheets. If you’re a guy– probably not.

11.) You’ll get sad when you don’t get mail. Really– don’t people believe in writing letters anymore?

12.) Prospective tenants coming to look at your apartment don’t count as company. There is no need to bake cookies.

13.) There is nothing better than coming home to your very own space after a long day at work or a night out with friends. Nothing.

14.) You’ll get angry when your friends take longer than an hour to play Words with Friends. Constantly refreshing your phone will not speed them up. Trust me.

15.) You’ll know you’ve gone too long without talking to anybody when you’re own boyfriend texts you with “Are you alive?”

16.) It is possible to read Twilight in a week. No, not the first book. The entire series.

17.) Facebook stalking does not count as human interaction.

18.) It’s the only time in your life when you can be completely anal about the way your place looks. So if you can’t fall asleep unless all your throw pillows are in place on your couch, get it out of your system now.

19.) Screaming and jumping on your counter is a completely rational response to seeing a mouse. So is calling your boyfriend and making him come pick you up at 10pm on a Tuesday because you’re convinced the mouse is definitely in your bed. Like, under the covers. (Note: no, it isn’t.)

20.) Get to know your maintenance man. He’ll be a life saver when you have a gas leak. Or your hot water heater goes. Or when your kitchen light has been stuck on for a week and you don’t know why.

21.) And finally,it might take you 10 months, but you’ll realize that so far, it’s been the best year of your life. Everybody should live alone at least once.

I’ll definitely be sad when my lease is up July 31st, but I’ve also got a lot to look forward too. Now excuse me, I’m off to watch a marathon of New Girl. (Probably the least embarrassing show that I currently watch.)

This is What I Do When I Work From Home

What I should be doing:

What I’m actually doing:

Photo hunt! Where’s Lindsay?

I’m obviously going to get a ton of work done today.

What I’ve Been Up To

The last time I blogged, I was likening myself to an antelope and talking about my feet.

Was that weird?

Sorry.

Anyway, due to a combination of utter laziness, lack of inspiration, and more utter laziness, you’ve basically heard nothing but radio silence from me for the past 2+ months.

Again…sorry. Blame it on winter depression.

For anyone who has ever had a blog, I’m pretty sure they can attest to the fact that it’s tough to keep up with regular postings.

Unless someone wants to pay me buckets of money to talk about what I eat everyday, it’s safe to say that my posts will continue to be completely sporadic, ranging from a few times a week to once every few months.

Besides, I can assure you– if I wrote about my everyday life, you guys would drop like flies.

There’s only so many ways that I can say “I sat on my butt, alternating between reruns of How I met Your Mother and Kim and Kourtney Take New York all night” before I’d have to own up to the fact that yes, I am in fact, the world’s biggest waste of space.

So, anyway, now that we’re all here, let me catch you up on what’s been going on in my life.

My foot: (Because talking about my feet is apparently becoming a regular topic of conversation here.)

In my last post, I was in the throes of a terrible bout of plantar fasciitis.

Once I got over the fact that running through the pain was not going to help, I finally wised (is that a word) up and stopped trying.

And guess what?

My foot…got…BETTER!

Although the half marathon I wanted to do in February is a no go, I’m back up to running 5-7 miles a few times a week.

Granted, I’m nowhere near where I was when I ran the Miami Half back in 2009, but I’m getting there. Slowly but surely.

My New Place: Can you believe I’ve already been here for 6 months? Crazy, right?

I even hung curtains! (Please disregard the cheap curtain rods. I have better ones, I just haven’t hung them yet. I need a step ladder.)

Alas, as much as I love it here, I won’t be renewing my lease in August.

I knew from the start I’d probably only be here for a year.

So, I’ll miss it, but by the time August rolls around, I’ll be ready to move on. (Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to talk all about that new place when we find it. And I’ll post pictures. Lots of pictures. Your welcome.)

Work: I was recently also lamenting about the loss of my cube.

And…I still don’t have a cube.

The “6 month renovation project” in my office seems to be at a standstill.

Seriously. It’s been 3 months and I think all they’ve done is dismantled maybe 3 cubes.

Sigh.

But, as much as I was complaining, I actually don’t mind sitting amongst my co-workers.

I actually talk to other people during the day,instead of sitting alone in my cube doing crossword puzzles and shunning the outside world.

My new-found socialness with co-workers actually makes the day go by faster. And it also makes Moe very happy.

He isn’t faced with an interaction-starved human being talking a mile a minute at the end of the day.

Hooray!

And finally, the last thing:

My father has joined Facebook.

Last I looked, he’s up to 27 friends.

I always said, the day one of my parents got Facebook, I’d delete my account.

So far, he’s behaved himself. The only question posted on my wall so far has been “How do I put that picture in my spot?”

(That was his way of asking how to get a profile picture.)

Ohhh parents and social media. Sometimes I’m against it, but it can be pretty funny.

OK, well, now that we’re all caught up on the minutiae of my everyday life, we can get back to regular programming.

I’ll be back.

Probably not until February, but I promise, I’ll be back.

Plantar Fasciitis

Hi everyone. Long time no talk.

I’m not even going to try to make excuses.

I’ve been slacking.

I’ve gotten so lazy I haven’t even made a real dinner in the last three days. I’ve been eating frozen chicken nuggets.

But that’s neither here nor there. I’m actually here to talk about my feet.

Oh yeah.

Remember a few months ago when I went on a rampage about “how this is it! I’m going to run race! A really long race! Rah rah rah rah, I’m going to read running books! And buy finger shoes! And run like a man doing Tai Chi! WEE!”

Ok, weelll– I started to do all of that. I did.

I began by reading Born to Run.

If you haven’t read it yet, you have to.

It basically made me wish I was an African bushman, living in a village and hunting antelope with my bare hands.

I was all like “Screw work! I’m moving! I’m quitting my job to live the life of a running vagabond, with nothing but the shoes on my feet and the fanny pack around my waist! Lindsay Gump!”

Thankfully, I came out of whatever dream world I was living in and came back to Earth when I finished the book.

(I mean, c’mon. We all know I wouldn’t actually wear a fanny pack. Africa, yes. Fanny pack, no.)

However, the book did inspire me to run again. (That was the point, right?)

So, I started in on my half marathon training program.

I even switched shoes. Goodbye over-cushioned Saucony’s– helloooo 5 year old Puma’s with the flat sole that I’ve had forever.

And let me tell you, I felt great.

I was running like the wind! I was passing people on the streets!

When I got tired, I simply did as one tribe in Born to Run did.

I would find a runner in front of me, pretend they were an antelope, and chase them.

Except the people on the book were chasing real antelope.

So they could eat. And, you know. Survive.

Me? I was just some creep running the streets of Boston, sneaking up on people, and doing a little dance when I came up on their heels in silent victory.

In my head I’d be like, “Ha! If you were an antelope, you’d be dead! Sucker!

In real life, if they turned around, I’d stop and pretend to tie my shoe.

This strategy was going great.

And then–disaster.

One day at the gym, I had forgotten my new trusty Puma’s, so I had to wear my old, over-cushioned, soul-crushing Saucony’s.

I sanely and rationally talked myself through it.

“Just one run won’t kill me. I wanted to do 5 miles, so that’s what I’m going to do. 5 miles. No less.”

So, I got on the treadmill and started happily running, pony tail bouncing, feet feeling over-burdened and claustrophobic, but essentially ok.

One mile down. Two miles down.

Three miles down.

Ow, my heel kind of hurts.

3.5 miles down.

Why does my heel feel like it’s cracking in half?

4 miles down.

Good God I think I shattered my foot but I’m finishing these 5 miles if it f*cking kills me.

5 miles later, I was literally whimpering like a wounded kitten abandoned on the side of the road.

I limped home, iced it, put my feet up, and assumed I’d feel better in the morning.

The next morning I woke up, stretched, and swung my legs out of bed, stood up…

…and promptly almost fell over.

The only way to describe the pain is– it felt like someone had shattered my heel with a hammer and then lit it on fire.

As it progressively got worse throughout the day, it became clear that walking ever again was out of the question. I had resigned to live the life of a person who never stood up.

I would simply be known as Sitting Lindsay.

A little research later, it was obvious I was suffering from the bane of every runner’s existence.

Plantar Fasciitis.

Bascially, it’s a horrible foot condition, typical in runner’s, that has no cure and has been known to last for up to two years.

Two years.

Never mind all that though. I was all hung up on the fact that one of the causes was “sudden weight gain.”

Not “overtraining” or “bad running form”.

Nope. Sudden weight gain.

No longer was I a stealth Bushman hunting unsuspecting antelope on the African plains.

I was reduced to a chubby, red-headed faux runner who thought running another half marathon was easily within my grasp, until I was stricken with an incurable foot condition.

Wah.

So in summary– my foot hurts.

Real bad.

I guess I could have just said that from the start.

I Lied About My Age

You guys, it’s happened.

It happened before I even hit 30.

I can now say that yes, I have reached the stage in my life where I’ve…

(shudder)

Lied about my age.

(insert horrified look here.)

It’s so shameful.

Before you judge, let me explain.

I’ve got a list of 3 or 4 blogs that I have bookmarked on my computer that I read when I need to take a little break from work.

Most people do, right?

Not weird.

However, while I think it’s 100% ok to be a blog lurker (Love Letters anyone?), I am not one to comment on random blogs.

What can I say? I’m shy.

(Sorry.)

But the other day, one of the blogs that I follow had a post up a swimming.

See, this particular blogger has just gotten back into swimming after a hiatus and is realizing how much fun it can be.

And fun fact– I just happened to be a swimmer all through high school and college.

So what did I do?

I commented.

I decided I needed to tell her that after swimming for over 8 years, I was so burnt out, I doubted I would ever get in the pool again.

And then, I went to say that it still wasn’t fun, even after being out of college for…

…4…wait no…5…sii-iix?…(panicky feeling starts)

….over 7 years.

Over 7 years?

Oh he-llll no! There was no way I was going to admit that.

So, what did I do?

Instead of just abandoning my grand debut into the world of blog comments, I instead committed the creepiest crime on the Internet.

I lied about my age. To a bunch of strangers. On the web.

That pret-ty much puts me in the same category as someone who trolls dating websites by posting a picture of themselves from 20 years ago in an effort to get a random girl’s number so they can sext them while sitting in the comfort of their basement apartment in Queens.

Ew.

Never. Again.

Oh, and in case anyone is wondering, I told them I’ve been out of college for 4 years.

So, if anyone asks? I’m 25.