Brain Dump

November 21, 2012

Happy Wednesday/Day Before Thanksgiving!

I literally just spent about 45 minutes trying to write a post about yellow garden stools that ended up with me talking about dead gold-wielding leprechauns and jade elephants from the Ming dynasty.

Writer’s block anyone?

I asked others for inspiration, but all I got was a text from my sister that says “Write about meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!”

So, in an effort to keep everyone from thinking I’ve completely gone off the deep end, I’m forgoing that post in favor of a list of probaby-not-interesting-to-anyone-but-my-mom tidbits.  Enjoy!

1.) Yes, I’ve decided I need a yellow garden stool in my life.

I’ve got the perfect nook for you, Mr. Stool.

What I didn’t know is how expensive they are! My $40 limit won’t get me anywhere.

2.) I want to make monkey bread for Thanksgiving, but all the recipes call for it to be made in a bundt pan. Can I still make it if I’m bundt-less? Can anybody help me with this?

3.) I’m also making pumpkin bread for Thanksgiving, mainly because my recipe makes two loaves and I want to keep one at home to eat all by myself. #fatkid

4.) New Girl last night was hysterical. It’s usually pretty funny, but last night was the first time I literally LOL’d throughout the episode. It takes a lot for me to do that during a TV show, so well-played writers.

5.) Free lunches at work make me happy. A new natural food restaurant/deli just opened up in my building and they offered free lunches to everyone during their staff training. They’re called Pret a Manger (pronounced Pret ahhh Mon-jay. I didn’t know this. I was calling it as it looked- Pret a Manger , like what Baby Jesus was in. The French language is tricky.)

To give you an idea of what they serve, I got this in my “lunch bag.”

Yoga Bunny Detox Grape Juice

I’m not a huge carbonated beverage drinker, especially trendy, boutique, “healthy” drinks, but it was pretty good. I wouldn’t buy it, but I’d certainly drink it again for free.

6.) I bought my gift for our annual Girl’s Brunch/Yankee Swap and promptly decided I want to keep it for myself. Can I do that?

7.) Yes, Key West was awesome. And I didn’t actually lose my phone. (That’s another post.)

On that note, I’m signing off for the day. My office closes at 1, then I have grand plans for the gym, grocery store, and baking before heading to CT early tomorrow morning.

Happy Thanksgiving all! 🙂


The Vibram Stench

October 11, 2012

Back in June (I think?), I took the plunge and finally got a pair of Vibram Five Fingers.

So new. So fresh-smelling.

I mean, the purple ones were on sale, you guys. It was a match made in shoe heaven. I was so excited, I wore them around work the day I got them.

(Not one of my prouder moments.)

Anyway, I had a feeling that these shoes would probably smell a little worse and require a few more washings than typical shoes, since you don’t wear socks with them.

Boy. Hoh boy. I was wrong.

To say I was woefully unprepared to how bad these bad boys started smelling wouldn’t do it justice.

It started off as just a little odor. A slight whiff that would make me wrinkle my nose. A quick run through the washing machine seemed to cure it.

But as time went on, it got worse. And even worse. So bad, that eventually the washing machine stopped helping. They came back out smelling just as bad as they did going in.

I half expected them to grow legs and sharp pointy teeth. And I swear, they growled at me once.

Others noticed, too.

My mother almost gagged when I tricked her into smelling them.

I left them in our back hall overnight once, and when I woke up, my shoes were nowhere to be found. A box of baking powder had taken their place.

Turns out, my boyfriend had put the shoes in the basement because the stench attacked him when he came home.

I stopped wearing them to the gym because they made me so self-conscious that it hindered my workout. I saved them strictly for outdoor running. Even then, the smell trailed me my entire route.

I was on the verge of just tossing them, but I figured before I did that, I’d take to the Internet to see if there was anyone else out there with this problem, and how they’ve dealt with it.

Turns out, there are forums and forums worth of people who apparently have Vibrams that smell just as bad (if not worse) than mine. There’s even a term dubbed the VFF Stench.

Phew! I’m not sure why, but I was feeling very nervous that I somehow had inherited the world’s worse smelling shoes and that nobody could help me.

I spent the better part of yesterday afternoon researching solutions to my Awful Shoes Syndrome.

Cleaning methods ranged from sticking dryer sheets into them (tried it. Did not work. I was left with shoes that still smelled like rotten cheese, only with a slight, albeit nauseating, floral scent.), to baking soda concoctions, to pet shampoo, to denture tablets.

I decided to try some. Since I didn’t feel like taking a trip to a pet supply store, or the geriatric section of the pharmacy, I tried a homemade solution first.

And you know what? I think it worked! Granted, my shoes are still drying, but from first whiff, it seems they may have been cured. Here’s what I did.

1.) Soaked my shoes in warm to hot water.

2.) Made a paste consisting of baking soda, liquid dish detergent, and water.

3.) Used an old toothbrush to scrub my shoes inside and out with the paste, making sure to get in the toes and paying special attention to the sole of the foot pad.

4.) Rinsed thoroughly with warm water.

5.) Filled the sink with fresh hot water and a cup of vinegar. Let the shoes soak for about an hour, hour and a half.

6.) Rinsed thoroughly and hung them to dry. Since you are supposed to hang them up, toes down, to dry, I had to get creative.

No clothes lines? Doorknobs work.

And check out the reflective gear!

I basically glow in the dark!

They’ve been drying since last night. My sniff test this morning revealed a slightly vinegar-y, but not offensive smell. Fingers crossed they stay that way after my run tomorrow! In the meantime, I’ll be wearing my old Puma’s to the gym today. Those trusty shoes have never given me Stench Foot Paranoia.

Any other readers out there wear Vibrams? How do you keep the smell at bay? While I think my solution worked, I’d be willing to try others!

A New Kind of AHSOM

October 4, 2012

I’m about to let you in on a secret.

Blogging? It’s stressful.

Not in a pull-your-hair-out, collapse-on-the-couch sort of way. It’s more a  guilt-inducing , oh, shit, I haven’t posted in almost three months and I know I should, even though I really don’t want to or have anything note-worthy to say kind of way. Especially when people tell you they love your blog and ask when you are going to post again.


I’ve decided that in order for this blog to go on, I’m going to need to write differently.

Before, I think I was trying too hard to be funny, because that’s what people liked. And I would stress myself out trying to write funny posts (some successful, some not so much). And although I always felt good when I did manage to eke out something witty, it would take a lot out of me.

So much so that sometimes I needed to take an extended (3 month) hiatus.

While I wish I could pull funny stuff out of a hat at the drop of a dime, the truth is, I’m really not that good. Some posts would take me literally hours to write. And while I do love writing, I don’t love it enough to do it for 8 hours at my job, and then go home and spend another few hours writing a blog post.

Hence my radio silence and sporadic posts over the span of the last several months.

I’ve honestly been toying with the idea of just deactivating this little ‘ol blog of mine. But first, I’m going to try something new.

I’m going to blog like most other bloggers do. I’m going to (gasp!) talk about my day, maybe throw in a few posts on my workout routine. Perhaps a few food or baking-related posts.

You know. Mundane. Boring. Uninteresting.

We’ll see if you guys stick around.

I’ll try to at least take some pretty pictures. (warning, they’ll probably mostly be house/furniture related.)

I Want a Dog

February 4, 2012

Hey, guess what?

I want a dog.

If you are my Facebook friend, real-life friend, family member, boyfriend, random reader, or just anybody who has had even the most minor interaction with me, you probably know that.

I like to think I’m not generally an annoying person (right? I’m not, am I? I am? What the hell! You guys are mean!).

OK, in my head I’m not an annoying person. But when it comes to wanting a dog, I admit. I may talk about it a leeeeeeee-tle too much.

And by that, I mean every day. Sometimes multiple times a day. The majority of my Facebook status’ are usually referring to Petfinder, and how OMG I want a dog! And damn it, I just bookmarked 17 dogs and how am I ever going to decide which one I wanttttt?!?!?!?!

This is actually kind of ridiculous because I know I can’t feasibly get a dog until September.

But noooo, that doesn’t stop me from falling in love with multiple dogs every week, staring longingly at their little square picture until they either get adopted, or I get depressed knowing I can’t have them yet so I delete their bookmarked page in a fit of guilt and self-pity over my dogless status.

No, really. I think sometimes my co-workers wonder why I get a little teary-eyed when I’m at my desk.

They probably think I’m just a really depressed and sensitive person who just cries for no reason.

Nope. Just when I have to delete my bookmarked dogs that I’ve developed an unhealthy attachment to.

Totally normal, right?

In fact, this whole cycle happened just this morning.

I stayed in last night, which means I feel asleep at the sheepish hour of, ohhhhhhh, 9:30.

Side note: I am an old lady.

Falling alseep at 9:30 on a Friday night means I woke up at 6:45, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

Again, am I, like, 85? God.

So, after my morning routine of drinking coffee and watching the news, I remembered the Petfinder app that my dear friend Bridget had downloaded for me on Thursday night.

I had sworn off Petfinder until September, but that damn app was just so tempting.

And, I mean, it’s not like I was breaking my ban.

I didn’t type into the web browser. I just may or may not have accidentally hit the little app image with my finger.

Oops. 🙂

Big mistake. Before the sun had even really come all the way up, I had saved 7– seven— dogs under my favorites.

Moe is going to love hearing about this.

But really– how can you say no to a little face like this?

Look at my adorable face! Look at it!

I mean, really. If those eyes and that face doesn’t just melt your heart, you aren’t human.

I’m coming for you Enzo!

What I’ve Been Up To

January 27, 2012

The last time I blogged, I was likening myself to an antelope and talking about my feet.

Was that weird?


Anyway, due to a combination of utter laziness, lack of inspiration, and more utter laziness, you’ve basically heard nothing but radio silence from me for the past 2+ months.

Again…sorry. Blame it on winter depression.

For anyone who has ever had a blog, I’m pretty sure they can attest to the fact that it’s tough to keep up with regular postings.

Unless someone wants to pay me buckets of money to talk about what I eat everyday, it’s safe to say that my posts will continue to be completely sporadic, ranging from a few times a week to once every few months.

Besides, I can assure you– if I wrote about my everyday life, you guys would drop like flies.

There’s only so many ways that I can say “I sat on my butt, alternating between reruns of How I met Your Mother and Kim and Kourtney Take New York all night” before I’d have to own up to the fact that yes, I am in fact, the world’s biggest waste of space.

So, anyway, now that we’re all here, let me catch you up on what’s been going on in my life.

My foot: (Because talking about my feet is apparently becoming a regular topic of conversation here.)

In my last post, I was in the throes of a terrible bout of plantar fasciitis.

Once I got over the fact that running through the pain was not going to help, I finally wised (is that a word) up and stopped trying.

And guess what?

My foot…got…BETTER!

Although the half marathon I wanted to do in February is a no go, I’m back up to running 5-7 miles a few times a week.

Granted, I’m nowhere near where I was when I ran the Miami Half back in 2009, but I’m getting there. Slowly but surely.

My New Place: Can you believe I’ve already been here for 6 months? Crazy, right?

I even hung curtains! (Please disregard the cheap curtain rods. I have better ones, I just haven’t hung them yet. I need a step ladder.)

Alas, as much as I love it here, I won’t be renewing my lease in August.

I knew from the start I’d probably only be here for a year.

So, I’ll miss it, but by the time August rolls around, I’ll be ready to move on. (Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to talk all about that new place when we find it. And I’ll post pictures. Lots of pictures. Your welcome.)

Work: I was recently also lamenting about the loss of my cube.

And…I still don’t have a cube.

The “6 month renovation project” in my office seems to be at a standstill.

Seriously. It’s been 3 months and I think all they’ve done is dismantled maybe 3 cubes.


But, as much as I was complaining, I actually don’t mind sitting amongst my co-workers.

I actually talk to other people during the day,instead of sitting alone in my cube doing crossword puzzles and shunning the outside world.

My new-found socialness with co-workers actually makes the day go by faster. And it also makes Moe very happy.

He isn’t faced with an interaction-starved human being talking a mile a minute at the end of the day.


And finally, the last thing:

My father has joined Facebook.

Last I looked, he’s up to 27 friends.

I always said, the day one of my parents got Facebook, I’d delete my account.

So far, he’s behaved himself. The only question posted on my wall so far has been “How do I put that picture in my spot?”

(That was his way of asking how to get a profile picture.)

Ohhh parents and social media. Sometimes I’m against it, but it can be pretty funny.

OK, well, now that we’re all caught up on the minutiae of my everyday life, we can get back to regular programming.

I’ll be back.

Probably not until February, but I promise, I’ll be back.

I Lied About My Age

October 26, 2011

You guys, it’s happened.

It happened before I even hit 30.

I can now say that yes, I have reached the stage in my life where I’ve…


Lied about my age.

(insert horrified look here.)

It’s so shameful.

Before you judge, let me explain.

I’ve got a list of 3 or 4 blogs that I have bookmarked on my computer that I read when I need to take a little break from work.

Most people do, right?

Not weird.

However, while I think it’s 100% ok to be a blog lurker (Love Letters anyone?), I am not one to comment on random blogs.

What can I say? I’m shy.


But the other day, one of the blogs that I follow had a post up a swimming.

See, this particular blogger has just gotten back into swimming after a hiatus and is realizing how much fun it can be.

And fun fact– I just happened to be a swimmer all through high school and college.

So what did I do?

I commented.

I decided I needed to tell her that after swimming for over 8 years, I was so burnt out, I doubted I would ever get in the pool again.

And then, I went to say that it still wasn’t fun, even after being out of college for…

…4…wait no…5…sii-iix?…(panicky feeling starts)

….over 7 years.

Over 7 years?

Oh he-llll no! There was no way I was going to admit that.

So, what did I do?

Instead of just abandoning my grand debut into the world of blog comments, I instead committed the creepiest crime on the Internet.

I lied about my age. To a bunch of strangers. On the web.

That pret-ty much puts me in the same category as someone who trolls dating websites by posting a picture of themselves from 20 years ago in an effort to get a random girl’s number so they can sext them while sitting in the comfort of their basement apartment in Queens.


Never. Again.

Oh, and in case anyone is wondering, I told them I’ve been out of college for 4 years.

So, if anyone asks? I’m 25.

Goodbye, Cube Door

October 13, 2011

I hope you can all forgive me for once again dropping off the face of the Earth for a solid three weeks.

I’ve been mourning the loss if my cube door.

Actually, I take that back. I haven’t just been mourning the loss of my cube door. I’ve been mourning the loss of my entire cube.

See, I used to feel pretty smug about my cube at work. It had walls taller than me, and a door that slid shut for optimum privacy.

If I wanted to, I could stay ensconsed in my cube all day and not talk to anybody, hidden behind the brown fabric walls and semi-transparent plastic sliding door.

No matter that I had absolutely no access to natural light. I was happy to sacrifice my vitamin D levels for the mere fact that nobody could see me.

I knew most people didn’t have such luxuries as tall walls and doors. But I still always liked to slip it into conversation, just so they knew how good I had it, and then act all surprised when they told me how lucky I was to have such an awesome cube.

Me: Ha, yeah, so the other day, the guy across the hall from me was picking his nose and it was grossing me out, so I just…(dramatic pause)…slid my cube door shut so I couldn’t see him anymore.

Friend: Wait– you have a CUBE DOOR??

Me (wide-eyed and innocent):Oh…my…I thought everyone had a cube door. Why…yes…I do have a cube door.

Well, let me tell you, all my smugness came crashing and burning down around me approximately three weeks ago when my company was informed that the higher ups from London have decided to move to an “open-floor concept”.

Of course there had been rumors floating around that this might happen. But they’d been floating around for months and months. Nobody actually thought they would take away our cubes.

And even if they did, I figured it would be years before they ever got around to it.

Well, they did take away our cubes and it didn’t take years.

As of right now, I have three moving crates taking up the majority of my precious space, directions on how to pack up my computer, and instructions to be packed up by 5pm Thursday so all my stuff can be moved to our temporary space while they do construction.

I’ll be sitting with four other people at basically a counter with computer stations.

So forgive me, if in the coming weeks I seem a little on edge and anti-social. I fear too much human interaction at work will have severe implications on how I act outside of work.

I’m scared.

On a side note, packing up a cube I’ve occupied for 3 1/2 years isn’t fun. Working at a parenting website means I’ve accumulated a lot of interesting stuff, particularly stuffed animals. Having to pack them all up resulted in me just shoving them all into my gym bag, and I’m pretty sure a lady in the locker room thought I was a pedophile.

I’ll save that story for my next post though.