Swine Flu and the government? Not a match made in heaven

October 21, 2009

Well, it’s happened. Swine flu has struck our apartment.

Well, potentially.

I say potentially because my roommate and I have tentatively diagnosed our third roommate with the flu. And, seen as how we’re doctors and all, I think we may be right.

Or we may be wrong, considering I just got a text from said Sick Roommate* proclaiming she’s at work feeling much better.

Riiiiiiight. I’m still nervous.

But anyway, I digress. The real reason for this post is due mainly in part to Sick Roommate’s place of employment. Her governmental place of employment.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but it’s my understanding that the government has advised any and all people who are sick and think they have the flu to stay home until they are better. Right?

So, you’d think that a government agency such as the one Sick Roommate works at would be especially vigilant about this. Right?

Nope.

This government agency advised her that since she has not accumulated enough sick time yet, she is required to be in work, flu or no flu.

Um, WHAT????

Are they serious? They’d rather have someone traipsing around the office spreading swine flu germs all over the place than give her sick time and let her stay home?

News Flash— having Sick Roommate in the office will cost you a lot more money than just paying her for a couple days of sick time.

Do you really need me to tell you why?

Everyone else is going to get sick. Then, everyone will be home sick, not just her, and you’ll be screwed over a million times worse.

Seriously, what the hell are they thinking?

I’m not going to mention who exactly Sick Roommate works for, but it appears they’re enjoying screwing over our generation, both in retirement and the present day.

My advice to this agency? Get off your high horse, and recognize there is an epidemic going around. Requiring new employees to be in work when they are obviously sick is irresponsible, grossly negligent of other’s health, and quite frankly, just another sign that all you government officials get off on this stupid power trip you think you all have.

Ugh.

In the meantime, I plan on doing what I can to avoid contracting this glorious illness:
Step 1 — Mark Sick Roommate’s bedroom door with a giant red X
Step 2 — Declare her officially in quarantine until 2020.
Step 3 — Don surgical masks when in the common areas or when partaking in a roommate dinner
Step 4 — Serve her chicken soup…with a 10 foot pole.

Any other ideas help me avoid the swine flu? Or should I just resign myself to the fact that my chances of getting H1N1 have just increased 100 fold?

*Names have been changed

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One Response to “Swine Flu and the government? Not a match made in heaven”


  1. […] Anyway, when I first started this blog, most of my posts were geared toward health and fitness topics, either something I saw in the news or just a mere observation on my part. […]


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